Hope everyone has been getting fatter with all the millions of dinners with friends and family and friends and more families. Yes, its a little sarcastic. I decided to be very lame despite an invite from a friend and a family member for Christmas dinner. I opened a can of Pork and Beans w Molasses for xmas and decided to spend the entire day eating it, stuffing my face in misery.
I had no Christmas tree, no Christmas stocking by the non-existent fireplace, no gifts or cards prepared for anyone.
I was Grinch – but in a very pretty white dress. I thought it was I was the only one that despised this time of year, but turned out a couple of my gfs were just as lame. Maybe thats why we’re friends ( we celebrated Christmas individually). I had no Christmas gifts, maybe because I didn’t give any. My usual WaWa women gift exchange with my church friends from Vancouver didn’t happen because I decided to stay in Toronto for the whole damn last 2 weeks of December. So, until today – my friend Vince, visiting from London surprised me with a gift! My only Christmas gift. He got me a super duper cool scarf from Amsterdam. My reaction was a little off since I didn’t quite understand how the scarf worked until he explained it to me.
I just dont care. I know I don’t like Christmas. I’m going to stop lying to everyone that I do.
My favourite holiday is Halloween actually. But for everyone else that is super happy about family get togethers, smiles, drinking eggnog by the fire and playing songs on the piano – kudos.
My heart is barren for Christmas, unless its to be proud that Jesus was born on this day.
can someone spell "jaded"?
;)
I was at the hospital and just cuz it was Christmas, I thought people might stop getting sick or injured, but nope.
I met a guy who was admitted for gout in his left toe.
It was so sad cuz Michael got gout cuz he's eating a really crappy diet cuz he's alcholic and a crack binger.
Normally, you talk of crack binging and it's funny cuz you don't really do it and not too many of your friends do it on a regular basis, but this guy spend christmas eve in the basement of his blind aunts house (his mom passed away earlier this year) doing his 20th rock in 5 days.
This guy was impressive. He had filed a lawsuit against his ex-employer after being punched in the eye by one of his co-workers. (he was left with a scarred blind left eye) So he gets $2700 each month from his old employer's insurance company so that he can buy crack and sit in his aunt's basement and eat when he feels like it.
He started bawling his eyes out when I examined him. It was interesting to note that his defored blind left eye still teared up really well. I really felt bad for him, but I didn't do anything much for him other than feel bad for him and put my hand on his shoulder.
He told me that he wanted to die and that he had nothing to live for. I asked about family, and friends and he said his friends were all addicts and his mom had passed. The rest of his family disowned him cuz he stole from them before.
It was so odd to see a guy who was so able to freely explain and verbalize his situation. He identified all of his faults, yet it seemed he had no spiritual energy to repair anything. He looked for death.
I was too tired to stay and talk with him. I just set him up with a social worker and I put him on suicide watch as was protocol for the depressed patient. I started some colchicine and anti-inflammatories and that was that.
In a former life, I would have stayed with him all day and tried to show him what he had to live for.
But I was upset that I had to get paid good money to go to work on Christmas.
Sorry you had a bum Christmas Sarah. I shoulda sent you something. I'm gonna bring Sharm to visit you some time if you're still in NA...or wherever you travel.