An important statement that resonates with me.
In Oprah’s Life Class, she talked about how “Love Does Not Hurt” and that people who love you would never hurt you. I’ve had my fair share of relationships and I admit some were not perfect. I recall dating a guy that would often make me feel like I was small, and that I was lucky to be dating someone like him. I started to develop a complex and felt like I didn’t deserve anything better. I had a battered woman complex-always apologizing and afraid to say or do something wrong in fear of getting reprimanded physically or emotionally.
I left the relationship, broken in spirit and made sure that I would set high standards for myself and never revisit that part of my life again. It was part of my impetus to find what I was looking for. I was looking for value, I was wishing that I could be confident again and prove to myself that I was not worthless like that ex had said I was. So I every chance I had, I made sure i focused on my career and goals in life. My little journey was a tough lesson but I learnt it. I never dated anyone after that would ever make me feel like I was dependant and pathetic. I avoided people who would intentionally find ways to hurt me. So out of Oprah’s show – I had my Ah-Ha moment and haven’t felt such truth behind a statement.
I get a little harsh with my friends because I love them and I truly believe that they’re an extension of me. When I hear of disgruntled relationships, partners putting down another, humiliating them, “punishing” them, I get really sick to my stomach. I know what it feels like to feel defeated and trapped, I would never wish that upon my worst enemy. In the show, some of these women cling on to these relationships for the sake of their children, for the sake of “feeling loved”, for the sake of holding on to good memories. But the truth is, no one deserves to be treated that way and you have to believe that you deserve better.
Love doesn’t hurt. It never has and it never should.
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